Chapter 28

Uriel's mood mirrored the night. Anger, frustration, fear and guilt raged inside of him as the weather did outside. His sleep was fitful, laden with vague images of Ahrokh's relentless pursuit, always just beyond his range of vision yet closing the distance between them. The visions were accompanied by the guttural voice of the Dark Ones assuring him that he had surely failed. He came awake startled, sweating profusely and his breathing heavy. After he sat up for a moment, Uriel picked up his staff and left the tent he shared with Ghemella to search for some form of release. The Guardian was about to follow but, wrapped up in her own melancholy, decided to leave him be.

With the winds whipping around him, Uriel gazed at the night sky and saw the moons had hardly moved, thinking he must not have been asleep very long. He headed off in no particular direction and stopped next to a willow after he put a short distance between himself and the tents. "Why is this happening to me?" he questioned aloud. "Why don't You tell me what to do? Why don't You give me a sign or something?" As if in response, the first large raindrops began to fall from the heavens. Uriel made no attempt to move or protect himself from the downpour. He just stood there, feeling forsaken.

As the rain fell upon him, so too, did a wave of inspiration wash over him. Uriel had not been overly active in traditional religions in his previous life, but the unbidden thought of the One whom he felt had suffered a similar fate came into his mind. Whether He had been God, Master, disciple or man, all or none of those, was irrelevant. What mattered was the mystical tie that Uriel was experiencing at the moment. Though he felt it was probably blasphemy, he whispered, "So this is what He must have felt like at Gethsemane." He fell to his knees and looked up into the rain, crying in anguish. "Even as I wish it could be someone else, I know this is a fate I have chosen for myself." A torrent of emotion poured from him and it was a long time that his tears mixed with the falling rain. Finally, he bowed his head and said, "All I ask is that You stay with me and give me the strength to see this through. I don't know that I can go it alone."