Prologue

Rivulets of rain wound their way down the solitary window. Though his vision was deteriorating, he still stared through the glass pane. While he could only make out the dull grey of the clouds from where he laid, they allowed his mind to wander, momentarily diverting his attention away from the constant pain that wracked his body. He felt it would be over soon, maybe even today. The thought, however, did not frighten him. Death was an old friend. The Reaper had left him until the end, collecting everyone else that mattered to him, so that it could repeatedly administer that anguish of loss and mire him in the despair that followed. When will it be my time? he often wondered. A tight smile formed on his lips, thinking he may finally have the answer.

He focused on the clouds again and they seemed to draw him to the window. With great effort, he willed himself to rise from the bed. At only thirty years of age, it was difficult for him to accept his condition. Every movement caused him considerable pain. Pain, he thought. I have felt pain for so long. Too long. Im so tired of it. Why? Why can't this end. Why can't it just be over? He dragged his frail body very slowly to the window a few feet away and gazed up at what were the now familiar grey clouds. Memories came back to him, memories he did not wish to deal with. He felt the tears well up in his eyes and although his mind tried to escape, the memories still overtook him…

Parents dying when I was young… All alone… And scared… The wake… The flowers… That sweet reek from the flowers… The funeral… School… Kids making fun of me… Still alone… Still scared… Playing quarterback… Winning… The injury… Meeting Annie… Spring… Falling in love… Annie breaking up with me… Alone again… Honors… Then Julie… Constantly going out and breaking up… Julie leaving… Alone once more… Getting the job… The special project… Meeting Lynn… Lynn… Lynn, Ill always love you darling… The wedding… Having Danny… Completing the project… Lynn and Danny dying… Damn! Always alone… Always that emptiness… And now this sickness…